The Coldest Winter 10.07.24

Coming back inflated by all the names and faces

My situation hadn’t dawned on me yet

Pushed away convinced I needed space when

I really wanted to be closer than ever 

I’m back but it seems I am still so far away

My reunion wasn’t what I thought

Strange because I feel totally ok 

Disguised by a manic episode

And what do you call this

If not the best worst part of my life?

So much of me got left behind in the states

Cutting ties, being reckless

Telling lies being senseless

Is this not the worst best part of my life?

I’m coming back inflated, my newfound changes

My troubles not weighing me down

Diving headfirst in, I can’t let these fears win

Wearing my isolation like a crown

Don’t bother, they just can’t relate

And what do you call this

If not the best worst part of my life

Odd calmness surrounds this chaotic scene

Facing denial, being heartless

Stand trial, you’re relentless

Is this not the worst best part of my life?

I’m coming back inflated, soaking up these praises

My ego is all that keeps me warm

And I find myself freezing

Just to keep cheating

This is the coldest winter of my life

Electric heaters and early nights

Why does it seem theres never any sun

What have I done

I meet myself this winter in the snow

I’ve got to go home

I can’t do another frigid day like this

My heart was never meant to be cold